Intamacy

I know a good number of people who struggle with intimacy issues. At the end of the day they just want a nice quiet evening to themselves, but they can't have that because their partner comes home and wants attention. So you suck it up and put up with it.

Most men (sorry guys this is the truth here) think that intimacy = sex. It does NOT!

I know that, in my own personal life, I give all the emotion and affection I have to my kids all day. Children, like an over-demanding boss, can sap the emotion out of you. When my husband gets home in the evening sometimes its hard for me to want to be intimate with him. And, sometimes its hard for him too, because all he wants to do is sit and relax. He's also one of those intimacy = sex kind of guys too.

Intimacy for a women is talking and cuddling. Its holding hand or playing with her hair. You would be amazed at what an unexpected hug can do to improve her mood.

And sometimes, intimacy is doing the dishes for her, or helping pick up after dinner. These are small romantic gestures that will reaffirm your affection for her.

Ladies, romantic intimacy for a man is different. Sometimes it can mean those small touches and looks. But mostly men are physical creatures; their idea of romance is if you initiate intercourse. But, I promise you that doing some small gestures will make him far more receptive to your kind of intimacy. Slip a love note in his lunchbox, send him a text that tells him how much you appreciated him taking out the trash last night. Even the roughest toughest man will smile and tuck away those notes and save the texts. Before we were married I wrote my honey a "have a good day at work" note. Six years later, I am cleaning our room and find a small box under the dresser I never noticed before. I look inside, and find a collection of every anniversary card and love note I have ever written him, including the first note from before we were married.

The point to this? Intimacy is important for a healthy relationship and sex life. Without intimacy your sex life won't be as good, and without a good sex life your relationship will start to have problems.

I am going to start a series of 5 posts this week (excluding this one) about the 5 things that make a solid foundation for a solid relationship. Feel free to add things as we go!